I’ve come to the stage of my life where my wrong choices have been taking a big dump on my face. Within the sembreak, bad news kept swirling around. I don’t know why my life came to such a bitter conclusion, since I try my hardest to be there when people needed me. (Or, having a selective few to actually help) but this week, even having a turn for the worse, I still got a few good news that came to me by surprise.
If you have been reading my life from this blog, you may have noticed that I have been suffering from the guilt of choosing the wrong course. now, that being said, I have my own ups and downs with even my minor subjects, that, at the first place, I shouldn’t be even having a problem with.
this week, i went to school to get my grade changed. Giving professors additional work just to get some subjects out of the fail heap. I saw my theology professor.
She saw me nervewrecked. Ofcourse I was. I was waiting for a professor that I don’t think was coming by anymore. Now, my reled prof saw me. She asked me, “Why the sad face?” and I told her that I was asking my professor of one of my majors for a change of grade. It wasn’t long until she spat out an interesting story about my grade.
She told me that I barely passed her subject. The line was as thin as thread. I was 74 something in her subject. My exam wasn’t good enough for her, I was told. In that moment, my heart sank. I didn’t need any more bad news. I didn’t need it anymore. I’m sick of it. Then, she went on.
“pinasa kita (I gave you a passing grade)”
there was good left in the world.
In the moment, my heart lifted up from the hearse that was my depressed soul. In that moment, I knew a higher power was in this. I don’t want to believe it, but it makes me want to believe.