Missing you is like, I’m this little kid inside the candy store, and you’re my sitter. I’ll wade around, going from candy to candy. Time lapses and I’d probably be full, but between those caramelized goodies and sweet concoctions, I’m going to find the one who brought me there. In time, I might lose you while I’m going for those sweet candies, but I’ll look for the person that brought me to that store.
Same with you. You brought me to this amazing happiness that I could never compare with anyone else. I might be placid. I might take messages for granted. I might not reply as much. I might not be there 24/7, but I want you to know that in the midst of happiness, I think about you every single day and that probably is going to end that way.
We’re not going to be that kind of friends that’s going to be at each other’s throats when things don’t go the way we wanted. We’re bigger than that. We’re more than that. I could feel from the start that some kind of spark was there from the start we’re just too numb to feel the heat of it.
The part where missing you wasn’t already enough. There are days that I might just go all out and text you immediately. I might be with someone else but my mind is always at the clinging edge of your name. Memorized every line you ever said when we last met, and sometimes, I’m at the point where I wished you were with me instead of who I’m with when I’m out.
I never tell you things that might tick you off or worry you because I don’t want to worry you as much. I’d rather worry about you than you worry about me. It’s something that I want you to know since the beginning. I’ve told you that I’ll always be there no matter what, and busy or not, you could ring me for a simple hello and I’ll be there. But times are tough and my time is limited because of the things that I have been carrying ever since day one.
There are times that I might not reply or have little things to say. There are two reasons why. One is that I’m busy at that time, or two, I want you to tell me everything that you have to say. I must be honest that I am a selfish prick. I never think of anyone else except the ones that I truly care for. You have the biggest jump. You have this thing where I just want to know more about your day. Tell me what you ate for breakfast, tell me your dreams, tell me what you want to say. I’ll never say no. I’ll never gonna say “i don’t care” because sincerely, I do. Wherever you go, I swear to God that I always think about your safety. Especially when we don’t talk. This must be the most selfish thing ever but this is what I’ve set myself. This hasn’t changed, and I’m not sure if it is.
Don’t ever think that I’ll be mad at you because I’ll never will. Don’t ask people if I am because I will never ever be mad at you. Always remember that. Whatever state we’re in, I’m fine with it. I’m so relieved that I’m not parting away from you. I know you’re scared of parting with anyone you’ve been close to. I’ve been told. Sweety, I’ll tell you this. I will never drift apart. I will always be here. I won’t be that guy who will abandon you. If I could, I’d drive to where you are everyday just to know if you’re fine. That’s how important you are to me.